


When You're Gone

by social_reject



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:52:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/social_reject/pseuds/social_reject
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton Irwin has five days to find Luke Hemmings; the love of his life, the man he's going to marry. With nothing but a living room in turmoil, a sinister note, and Luke's engagement ring left behind, Ashton has to put the pieces of the mystery together to find his fiance. As the case starts to unravel, and they get closer to the answers, Ashton reflects on the life he and Luke have built, starting from the moment they met all the way to when Luke slid the ring on his finger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You're Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I am so excited to post this. I've been working on it nonstop for three days. I was going to wait for Halloween to post it but I'm too excited. I really hope you guys like it!!! Also don't worry too much about the summary, I'm a fuckin sucker for a happy ending.  
> This is rated Teen for some sexual content and descriptors of the aftermath of violent actions.  
> There is mentions of death in this, no actual character death though, just be careful if that is triggering in anyway

A shiver of cold crept up Ashton’s back, tingling and dancing its way up his spine, setting his nerves on end. Automatically his hand reached out for the thermostat, his eyes flickering over after, the seventy degree room not responsible for the shivers that invaded his body. He reached his hand back, sweeping it through his mused curls, his mind refocusing on the images laid out so neatly on his desk. The images sharpened, all his focus zoned into them, every color brightening in a vivid threat.

He sighed, pushing the photos away from him, their haunting images already engrained in his mind. His hands shook as he reached for the mug on the side of his desk, the steam rising up from his coffee, clouding the glasses perched on his nose. The hot liquid made its way down his throat, calming him fractionally, the taste familiar to his senses. He let out a shaky breath after his swallow, his tongue slightly burned from the intensity of the heat. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes not able to pull away from his newest case.

Four victims in the past four weeks, all with lacerations running up their bodies, intricate scars that would bleed the life from them. Remorse tugged at his chest, his heart thudding uncomfortably against his rib cage as he scanned the rest of the photos, perhaps the worst part of the case staring directly back at him. Opened eyes, all blue in color, varying degrees of shades filled with pools of the life that was so unjustly taken away from them. A mirage of blond hair spilled from each of the victims, lifeless and limply hanging across their foreheads.

A knock on the door jarred him out of his tangled thoughts, his voice carrying past the door, beckoning for entry. The door cracked open, a sliver of light spilling through Ashton’s otherwise dimly lit office. Familiar eyes peered their way through the small opening, a strain of worry crinkling around them as they looked over Ashton before opening the door fully. Ashton was already shuffling the case papers back into their file as the familiar intruder took a seat in one of the chairs opposite Ashton’s.

“You coming home tonight?” Ashton’s fiancés voice asked tentatively as if he were bracing himself for the answer.

“I don’t know, Luke,” Ashton answered flatly as he shook his head.

Finally Ashton looked up to meet gazes with his fiancé, the blue of his eyes sending mixed emotions through Ashton. For the longest time Luke’s eyes had been one of Ashton’s favorite physical attributes, how insanely attractive and crystalized they were, the blue reeling him in so easily. Now, as Ashton stared at him, he felt dread, the feeling working its way through his chest, gripping and relentless as it yanked him down to the ground in a wash of troubles.

“Okay,” Luke nodded, his word said in a small whisper, the two syllables broken apart with a crack in his voice.

Ashton instinctively reached his hand out for Luke’s, enveloping his fiancés smaller hand in his, the sentiment protective and comforting. Luke’s hand melted into the touch as Ashton sighed, stress causing tears to threaten their way of spilling over. He’d promised Luke he wouldn’t take his work home with him, yet this particular case was undeniably drilling through his mind no matter where he went. Every time he looked at Luke, flashes of his lifeless body filled his thoughts, his beautiful eyes opened, yet dead to the world.

“Are you riding home with Michael?” Ashton asked, needing confirmation that Luke wouldn’t be roaming around alone, the world outside his tiny shadowed office often unpredictable, and as of late; threatening to his love.

“Yeah, he’s just bringing the cruiser around,” Luke confirmed, his small thumb running across the side of Ashton’s hand, concern rushing through his bones.

“Good, that’s good babe,” Ashton mused, his disconnected thoughts turning hazy, gray seeping into his senses as he drifted, Luke’s hand a lifeline he was adamant of keeping a hold of. Luke squeezed Ashton’s hand gently, as if reeling the lifeline in just a little.

“When you’re done here, I’ll be in bed, waiting for you,” Luke reminded, not able hide the sultriness of his tone. Ashton cocked his head to the side, the gray fading as he felt his cheeks redden. Even after four years of commitment and routine, Luke could never fail to make Ashton blush.

It was as if it was the first day they had met; Ashton all flustered from the elements, the rain soaking his attire, the drops smearing on his glasses, impairing his vision. He hadn’t meant to run so full force into the blond beauty that held an umbrella, but God, was he glad he did. Ashton wasn’t able to hide the embarrassment that had stained his cheeks, the heat creeping around his neck as he scrambled up, offering a hand to the boy he’d knocked down. Luke had laughed it off good naturedly, the sound melodic, as if tiny angels were escaping his voice box.

Ashton had laughed along with him, somehow the embarrassment melting into a forming puddle under his feet. They’d introduced themselves through the giggles, a soft touch of the hands as they shook. Luke had struggled momentarily to reopen his umbrella, his face seemingly more flustered than when Ashton had run him over. Soon enough, Ashton was walking under the umbrella with Luke, not that it helped, he was already soaked through, but he was biding his time, unsure that he ever wanted to say goodbye.

Ashton resurfaced from the wave of memory that had swept him away, unable to articulate what it was he wanted to say to Luke in the moment. Instead of words, Ashton lifted Luke’s delicate hand, his lips brushing over the pale knuckles in a silent promise. Almost instinctively, Luke let out a small sigh, the sound pleasing to Ashton’s ears.

As he pulled away he assured, “I’ll be home shortly after you. I just need a few to finalize some things.”

“Alright,” Luke nodded, a small, almost sad smile tugging at his lips.

Sorrow swept through Ashton as Luke stood, their held hands breaking apart, Ashton’s hand falling back to the desk with a thud. Luke pursed his lips as he took one last look at his fiancé, the ring on his finger gleaming by his side, Luke nudging the air with his nose, the motion a secret code between them, the motion speaking the words they didn’t need to say. ‘I love you’ was already so clearly written in their eyes. Ashton motioned back before Luke turned and walked out the door, emptiness driving its way into Ashton. With every fiber of his being, he hated having to watch his love walk away, he despised that he was stuck behind his desk after work hours and not snuggled up beside Luke, nothing but sheets and touches accompanying them.

He opened the file folder once more, taking one last look through it, determination settling in his jaw as it clenched. Tomorrow he would head back to the drawing board, no answer seemingly in sight for now. He went through the motions of doing the things that needed to be done before he could leave, his mind not truly on his work, it had drifted away from him, about five miles down the road, to the cozy apartment he shared with Luke.

Once all was said and done, Ashton stepped outside, bracing himself against the elements, the weather undecided. A light drizzle had picked up while he was tucked away and oblivious to it, the sky not quite opening up enough for an honest shower. Through the breeze he raced to his car, brushing the droplets off his jacket as he turned on the heat, the chilly night air an unwelcome guest invading his skin. He turned the key, the engine roaring to life as he peeled out of his parking spot, setting his sights on home.

He hadn’t spent much time at the office after Luke had left, perhaps an hour more was spent in the dim lights, and yet, Ashton felt it was an eternity wasted. His phone rang from inside his pants pocket, a small struggle ensuing for him to fish it out as he kept to the wheel. Finally, he swiped his thumb across to answer it, not even paying mind to who was calling, anybody who had his number, had it for a reason.

“Asthon Irwin speaking,” Ashton greeted, straightforward as ever.

“It’s Ashley, is Michael still at the office with you?” A concerned voice drifted through the speakers.

“He left about an hour ago, I’m just leaving now. Why? He’s not home yet?” Ashton asked, understanding Ashley’s worry.

It wasn’t like Michael to stay out after work without telling his roommates Ashley and Calum, their level of respect usually maintained not coming in the door at odd hours of the night, at least without a warning beforehand. Ashton wished he could say the same for him and Luke, but ever since they’d moved in together around a year ago, Ashton had been getting home later and later than usual.

“No,” Ashley sighed, tiredness soaking the huff. Ashton could hear the phone pull away for a moment and suddenly she was back, “Never mind, he just walked in. Thanks anyway.”

“No problem. I’ll talk to you later,” Ashton said as he ended the call, his screen going dark as he locked the phone and pulled up into his complex parking.

A short jog to the door later had Ashton’s stomach plummeting, the unlocked door never a good sign. He always reminded Luke to lock it, they didn’t live in the best area of town, and what with Ashton being on the police force he didn’t know what horrors an unlocked door might lead to. He was working up a spiel of reminding Luke, once again, to lock the door when he stopped short as he entered the apartment.

The windows in the living area were wide open, cool air drifting through, an ominous feeling washing over Ashton as the full moon casted eerie shadows over the tipped over furniture. A few steps inside led to crunches under Ashton’s feet, shattered glass covering the floor. Immediately his hand went to the gun on his belt, his arms outstretched with the weapon in his clutches, his finger on the trigger. Somehow, his heart wasn’t beating erratically, it almost felt as if it wasn’t beating at all, like his heart had stopped, time had slowed, the moment stretching on into infinity.

Slowly, precisely, he made his way through the apartment, the broken glass coffee table having the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. There was no blood, which was good, but the sign of struggle wasn’t a welcome sight either. He moved on, the kitchen clear, the only places left the bedroom and bathroom. Quickly he searched through the bathroom, nothing out of place. Even down to Luke’s toothbrush he had left out that morning, dried paste crusted onto the sink. He backed out and in the still air he reached for the door handle to lead to his bedroom, hoping with every part of himself to find Luke sitting on the bed, a stupid grin on his face as he explained how he had mistakenly taken down the coffee table.

He twisted the knob to find it locked, not wasting time in searching for the key somewhere pinned up on the side of the fridge, panic set in and he backed up. With all of his momentum he kicked the door open, his gun still wielded and ready for use. As he flicked the light on what he came across had the gun in his hand shaking, his vision blurred as he stumbled forward. Somehow the perfectly made bed was sinister in nature, he knew full well that he nor Luke ever took the time to make the bed in the mornings.

Nobody was in the apartment that much was clear to Ashton, Luke was gone. He neared the bed, a neatly folded piece of paper sat on the fluffed pillows, Luke’s ring laid next to it. His heart fell as he reached for the paper, a tight lump forming in his throat, daring to choke him. His rattling hands unfolded it, the stark white paper crinkling as he did so. Boldly printed in a messy scrawl were nine words that managed to shred Ashton’s heart to pieces.

_You have five days to find him… Or else._

*

Ashton had spiraled that night, frantic phone calls to Michael, his dam of tears broken, his eyes burning with sadness when he realized he’d dried up. Calum, Michael, and Ashley had been at his door almost instantaneously to the call he’d made, if his heart weren’t so shattered, his thoughts so tangled, he’d be amazed they had understood the blubbering on the other side of the phone. It had taken a solid hour for Ashley to calm Ashton, her soothing words and promises of everything being okay falling flat as Michael and Calum investigated the crime scene before the rest of the force got there.

The next morning, Ashton sat in his office, twisting Luke’s ring round and round his pinky finger, his other digits too large to fit, Luke’s fingers stunted. The cool metal was calming at first, Ashton convinced that having the ring was a good thing, he would take any piece of Luke he could get. That is, until everything started to bombard him with the essence of Luke. He’d woken from a restless two hours of sleep to a cold side of the bed, his searching hand coming up with nothing but sheets. He’d clenched his fists around the sheets, trying to keep his breathing even, Luke’s scent nestled into the pillows on his side of the bed.

He’d somehow managed to get through breakfast, a lack of Luke wrapped around him as he stood at the stove scrambling his eggs. He’d sat at the bar with only his breakfast, a phantom on the seat next to him. Every little thing in Ashton’s life was adding up to be a loss of Luke. He’d brushed his teeth in utter silence, half expecting Luke to come in in nothing but his boxers and a lazy morning grin, insisting Ashton move over so they could brush their teeth together. He’d spat the toothpaste from his mouth, the only company he had was the toothbrush Luke had left out.

Now, as he sat at his desk with Michael pacing the room, a new victim’s photograph pinned to the board, he felt an indeterminable amount of pressure trying to crack him. Four dead, one missing; one missing, one missing the missing. It was suffocating to see Luke’s lively face on the board next to the photos of those proven dead. Michael had suggested Ashton stop working the case, he was too close to it to look at it objectively, of course Ashton had objected to that, his closeness to the case one of the sole reasons he had to stay on it.

Reports from the crime scene investigators were due back any minute, they’d swept the apartment for finger prints, traces of DNA anything that might help track down who had taken Luke. It was only a matter of time before Ashton had answers, Michael had prepared him to receive no answers, just as the previous families had to endure. This person knew what they were doing, usually not even a smudge of evidence left behind. The office phone rang, Ashton reaching for it but coming up intercepted by Michael, who spoke only in one word fragments, a perturb look on Ashton’s face as Michael hung up the phone with an un-telling hand. Ashton honestly wasn’t sure what to expect.

“They found DNA, it’s been run through the system, we have a name and a face, but he’s off the grid. We need to start tracking him, get his image out to the press,” Michael explained. “They’ve sent cruisers out to his last address, but it looks abandoned.”

Ashton reeled with relief, the words a shining light of hope. As much of the force as they could spare was called in for a meeting, putting their priorities in check. They were devoting most of their time to the case, it being one of the worst to ever shake the relatively small town they were stationed in. They’d joined task forces with a neighboring station, needing more man power to solve the case. They were pulling out all of the stops, Ashton feared though, they had waited too long. How this person could have possibly gotten away with so much already was baffling and humiliating to Ashton. Four lives taken, four families devastated, one life hanging uncertainly in the air, their hands closing in around the source.

Ashton could feel the sadness in his bones when he had called Luke’s older brothers, their reactions differing. Anger, sorrow, blame, it all seemed to come down to. There was no right or wrong reaction, Ashton had told the previous families, but sitting there with the phone up to his ear, hearing his soon to be in law’s break down- it took everything in him not to hang up the phone and retreat. Ben and Jack had already lost so much, their parents passing away around five years previous, how could he possibly bare to be the one to tell them their brother had been taken? How could he possibly bare to tell them it was his fault?

If Ashton had just gone home with Luke last night, he would have been there to protect him, he wouldn’t have let any harm come to him. If Ashton hadn’t been so wrapped up in his work, in solving this case, Luke wouldn’t have become a part of it. The last thing Ashton ever wanted was for his precious Luke to be exposed to the horrors that came with Ashton’s job, and now, he was the center of that world. Ashton was waist deep in the investigation when Michael pulled him out, convincing him he needed to eat, he needed to sleep, to take care of himself.

“Luke would want you to,” Michael’s voice rang through Ashton’s ears.

Ashton was beginning to resent that statement, no matter what he did, it was always negated with Luke would want you to do this or that, the fact of the matter being, nobody knew Luke like Ashton did. Michael had somehow persuaded him out of the office, promises of food to his rumbling stomach the most likely cause. Ashton was fidgety as he stood in line behind Michael, the restaurant bringing a flood of memories back to Ashton.

Four years ago he and Luke had had an accidental first date here, the booth in the back corner quickly thereafter becoming their spot. As the line slowly moved on, Ashton was brought back to that first date, how he was standing in the same exact spot when he noticed the familiar boy sitting alone in the booth. They’d caught eyes, Luke waving at him with a touch of a smile, his lip ring glinting in the lights overhead. Ashton had gotten his food, Luke had noticed and motioned for him to join.

“All alone?” Ashton had asked as he sat across from him.

Luke nodded, picking at the food on his plate, a half-eaten slice of pizza left, “I was supposed to meet somebody, but they bailed out.”

“I’m sorry,” Ashton expressed.

Ashton honestly couldn’t process how somebody could leave the beautiful boy waiting, making his smile slowly turn into a frown. Luke acknowledged the situation with a gargantuan shrug and a smirk, as if to say ‘who cares?’ the motion evidently knocking something from his side of the booth to the ground. Ashton bent to retrieve the fallen object immediately, coming eye to eye with a familiar blue umbrella. He picked it up and handed it over to an awaiting Luke. Ashton cocked his head to the side, his eyebrow quirking in thought.

“An umbrella? It’s gorgeous outside,” Ashton questioned.

“I know, it’s just, this has been bringing me good luck lately,” Luke explained shyly, dipping his reddening face down, his eyes on his plate.

“Superstitious are you?”

“Sometimes. I mean, only when it’s proven to work,” Luke said.

Ashton giggled and responded, “So convince me, what’s so lucky about that umbrella?”

“Well to start, I met you while I was holding it,” Luke began, his face still down, refusing to meet eye contact with Ashton. “And today, right now, you’re back.”

Ashton’s heart stuttered a bit at that, heat wrapping around his cheeks as he couldn’t stop the smile on his face from dominating his features. He couldn’t help it, Luke was beyond adorable, there were no words to describe the furiously blushing boy across from him. Ashton wanted to say something to put Luke out of his seeming misery for the revelation, but words had escaped him momentarily. He responded with a smile, a slight nudge of Luke’s hand to get him to look up at said smile.

Finally Ashton found some words to respond, “I’m convinced.”

Ashton shook himself of the memory as he got to the front of the line, ordering his usual, Michael stopping him short when he realized he had also gone on to order Luke’s favorite. They spent their lunch in silence, too much of Luke resonating within Ashton being in their restaurant. As they exited, he remembered how on their first accidental date, they’d brushed hands at the door, exchanged numbers on the sidewalk, promised to be in touch. Four years ago, Ashton would have never thought they’d be gearing up to promise themselves to each other through marriage.

“Come on man, you need sleep,” Michael said, clapping Ashton on the back and leading him to the cruiser.

Ashton wanted to refuse, tell Michael he needed to get back to the station, back to finding Luke, but the words wouldn’t come out. His head had lulled to the side as he sat in the passenger seat, his heavy eyelids drooping before he could say anything. The short ride back to Michael’s apartment was spent in between sleep and consciousness, somewhere in a fuzzy middle. Ashton recognized that they weren’t at his home, questions on the tip of his tongue that didn’t need to be asked because Michael was already explaining.

“I don’t think going back there is what’s best for you right now.”

“But that’s where Luke is,” Ashton mumbled, rubbing at the building sleep in his eyes.

“Exactly. Just come in, crash in my bed, get yourself away from it for just a little while.”

Ashton agreed hesitantly, following Michael up the staircase, trying his best to decompress, to shake away the phone call he had to make earlier. He knew he should call his own family, they loved Luke like their own, but for now, he needed sleep. He needed to reenergize himself so he could actively focus on the case, not be bogged down, make mistakes because he was sleep deprived. When it came to finding his fiancé, his mind needed to be sharp and prepared.

He didn’t think sleep would come so easily to him but once his head hit the pillow his body couldn’t deny him of the much needed function. He fell asleep instantly, the darkness surrounding him in a strangling embrace until he ventured his way out of the nightmares that wrangled his unconsciousness. He eventually fell into a realm of peacefulness, nothing but black and silence, all of his worries and bad thoughts set aside. He had somehow managed to convince himself that while he slept, the case was in good hands, Michael assuring him before he’d exited the car he would overlook everything.

Ashton trusted Michael with his life, and as much as that meant, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure that also meant he trusted him with something more precious than his own life.

*

The next day Ashton stood a distance away from their evidence board, taking the time to scan everything over it. His hand rubbed circles under his chin, lost in thought, none of it making much sense to him. He could understand the victimology, this killer obviously had a type, but all motive was lost to Ashton. He couldn’t comprehend how someone could so viciously kill people they don’t even know. Outside of their appearances, the victims had no ties to each other, and Ashton was willing to bet all of himself they had no personal ties to the killer either.

“We’re making progress, that’s all that matters,” Michael reminded from behind Ashton.

Ashton sighed and turned to face his fellow comrade, “We’re not going fast enough.”

The five day warning was ever present in Ashton’s mind, a ringing bell that wouldn’t stop. Each passing hour slimming the chances of recovering Luke alive and well. After the five days were up, he didn’t want to think what might become of his fiancé. Of course, in the back of his mind he already had an image of what that would look like, but he repressed it, focusing solely on the thought that Luke was still alive. He’d slipped once or twice already, using past tense when speaking of Luke, upon realization the words had managed to crush Ashton, his heart falling to pieces.

“We’ve got time. We’re nearly there,” Michael encouraged, his hand tracing over maps that they’d begun to develop.

They’d mapped out every location the victims had been taken, every dump site, and anything in between that might give them clues. Geographically this killer was sticking to a comfort zone, Ashton could tell, but how far these limits were able to be stretched, he wasn’t sure. It almost seemed as if with each new victim, the zone expanded, a newfound confidence surging through them with every kill. They’d searched the last known address they’d found, nothing much there to go by, just layers of dust and abandon.

“How so? Luke is still missing, the time is still ticking, we don’t even have a location,” Ashton thundered, his emotions flailing out of control, anger ever present at the situation.

“But we’ve narrowed it down, we’re going to catch this guy, and he’s going to go away forever.”

“But will we find Luke in time?” Ashton desperately asked, his words falling into the air, no one seemingly there to catch them.

Michael breathed heavily through his nose, apparently no right answer able to come out of him, because the truth of the matter was, neither of them knew the definite answer. Suddenly the comforting hand Michael had on Ashton’s shoulder felt anything but comforting, mostly heavy and crushing as he realized today there would be a press conference, and what that would entail. Ashton would have to get up there, alone, Luke’s brothers not able to bear it, and plead for this monster to return his love.

“I know you’re freaking out right now, this press conference has you totally flipped, but you’re going to manage it.”

Sometimes, Ashton was stunned at how well Michael could pick up on his anxieties, how quick he was to try and put them to rest. He appreciated it, but sometimes, it drove him insane. Sometimes he wanted to wallow in his misery, but his eccentric friend just wouldn’t let him. Ashton apprehensively stepped away from Michael, cutting some corners to get back to his office, needing some alone time to collect himself, the toll of the press conference taxing him heavily. Just the thought of begging to this ruthless killer had his stomach in knots, those damn haunting images invading his senses. Luke’s blue eyes flitting through his mind.

From his window he could see when the news vans and stations had collected themselves outside of the station, the captain taking to the mic first, speaking of cautions for the surrounding area, giving typical protocol for staying safe, explaining the victim type, showing the photo of the ‘man’ responsible. Ashton was ushered outside by Michael, his arm protectively wrapped around his shoulders as they walked into the sunlight, the day too bright for such a metaphorical gray cloud hanging over his head.

Somehow he was able to get through the press conference, his voice cracking only a few times, only a number of tears shed as he spoke of the life that was taken away. He never addressed the monster as a ‘man’, no one with an ounce of humanity in them could so willingly do these terrible things. Ashton had refused to look at his photo that was found on file, an arrest for aggravated assault a few years ago giving them a mug shot to work from. He’d been let out on parole not but a few months ago, much to Ashton’s obvious dismay.

Once the stress that was the press conference was over Ashton returned to his office, stacks of untouched paperwork sat on the edge of his desk. He knew he needed to get to them, but that wasn’t priority right now, Luke was the only thing that mattered in the entire world to him. The other cases could wait. Luke only had four more days. Ashton’s heart only had four more days, the thread it was dangling on in his chest fraying consistently.

After more convincing from Michael, Ashton had gone home in the late hours of the night, not able to make any more progress on finding Luke. It was becoming taunting, staring at his face and not knowing where he was or if he was okay. It was destroying Ashton from the inside out. He’d been able to wrangle his way into his own home, against Michael’s protests, all Ashton wanted was to fall into bed, surrounded by the essence of Luke, his scent still on the pillows, and if Ashton focused hard enough, his warmth still tangled in the sheets.

When he found he couldn’t sleep after forty minutes of staring at the ceiling, nothing but black in his vision, he’d turned on the small TV stationed on Luke’s side of the dresser. Immediately the news flicked to life, the brightness almost blinding at first. The local news had been replaying the press conference all day, and apparently well into the night, for that is what showed when Ashton tuned in.

In the moment, they were showing a bit of Luke’s life, photos of him smiling, surrounded by family, at his job- God, Luke loved his job. There wasn’t a single thing in the world that Luke wouldn’t do for the kids he taught. He was inspiring them through music, guiding young minds into a new realm of artistry. The photos had Ashton’s eyes burning, but the instigator of tears was when his own face was next to Luke’s, both sets of eyes shining with happiness, toothy smiles showing off their dimples.

Ashton clearly remembered that day, he’d picked up Luke and they’d set off on a date, both unsure what official number the date was, perhaps the second or third? They’d always argued that their ‘first date’ wasn’t their actual first date, Ashton seeming to believe it was, Luke choosing not to. Ashton had brought Luke out to a movie that night, whatever was playing on the screen didn’t matter to either of them, they just wanted to be together, so, in a weird turn of events, they’d chosen a horror movie. They both weren’t the biggest fans of horror but that didn’t matter because somehow, Ashton found he’d watched Luke more than the movie.

On that date, Ashton knew he was beginning to fall, but this fall wasn’t something to fear, he could already tell Luke’s arms would welcome him. Ashton’s heart pitter pattered in his chest every time Luke reacted to the movie; every time the suspenseful music played he’d reach for Ashton’s hand, whenever anything slightly gruesome showed he’d bury his face in Ashton’s shoulder. They’d emerged from the movie with tired limbs, stretching out as they walked to Ashton’s car through the dark of the night.

“That was… good,” Luke lied, his eyes squinting as he pulled the seatbelt over himself.

Ashton laughed, “You wouldn’t know, you spent most of the movie with your eyes hidden.”

“Well,” Luke started, his tone nothing but matter of the fact, “What I did see was good.”

“You’re adorable,” Ashton said through the giggles slipping out. They’d turned onto the interstate, the road slick with rain, Ashton taking extra caution to get Luke home safely.

When Luke didn’t immediately reply fear struck through Ashton, had he overstepped? But then, with the soft brush of Luke’s small hand all that fear washed away as their fingers intertwined on the console. Luke was quiet, unusually so, content to brush his thumb along the bone of Ashton’s hand, sending delightful shivers through him. Ashton squeezed his hand in response, loving the easiness that came with being around Luke.

He pulled into Luke’s driveway, letting the car idle as they looked at each other, their hands still connected. Ashton let out a soft breath, captivated by Luke’s eyes, feeling as if he were lost at sea and miraculously okay with it. Ashton offered to walk Luke to his door, not caring how cliché that was, or that his door was only a few feet from where the car was parked. Luke nodded slightly, biting at his lower lip, his teeth caught on his lip ring springing free as he let go.

They got out of the car, walked slowly to the door, the few feet taking more time than it should have. Luke searched his pockets for his keys, at first coming up empty handed, looking up at Ashton through his long lashes, a glint in his eyes, an almost mischievous smirk finding its way onto his face.

“Isn’t this the part where you kiss me?” Luke asked boldly, inching closer to an already close Ashton, his hands reaching out to tug on Ashton’s jacket, bringing their bodies to a collision.

Soon enough their lips were pressed together as well, their hands eagerly roaming unknown territories, Ashton’s finally coming to rest on the line of Luke’s jaw. They didn’t have much precision or technicality in the kiss but it was wondrous and meaningful, stirring deep rooted emotions within each other. Exhilaration surged through Ashton when Luke licked at his lower lip, his hands honing in on Ashton’s curls, their bodies molding into one. Ashton could see stars when he pulled away, nothing but black and blue swarming his vision as his mind returned to his body.

“Next time, you won’t have to ask,” Ashton said heavily, his thumb running down Luke’s jaw, making him inch closer through a shiver.

“Good night Ashton,” Luke replied, nudging Ashton’s nose with his own delicate one, the tip cold from the night air.

“Good night Luke,” Ashton replied as Luke turned away, the loss of contact leaving Ashton feeling empty as Luke then shut the door, Ashton tugging his jacket closer around him. He’d gone back to his car, sat in the driver’s seat for a moment, adamant on soaking up the new memory, never wanting to forget how amazing Luke’s lips had felt against his, how right it was when their bodies were pressed together.

Ashton came back to reality, the selfie they’d taken in the theatre now gone from the screen. He turned the TV off, flipped over to his side with a sigh, a lone tear trailing down his cheek as he tugged Luke’s pillow closer, inhaling the scent. If he just closed his eyes and pretended he could almost convince himself he was holding Luke, not the pillow. An uncontrollable sob broke its way through, staining the pillow with tears as he held it tighter, clutching it desperately to his chest, his knees curling up to meet it, rocking himself into submission and eventually slumber through the cries.

*

Ashton was hustled out of his office with breaking news on the case, a mysterious envelope written out to him, addressed to the station, signed in the same sloppy scrawl as the note he’d found the night of Luke’s abduction. Michael stood by his side as his nervous hands fumbled to open the envelope, being meticulous so as not to rip the inside content. Eventually he pulled the inside out and unfolded the paper. Before being able to read what was written, a Polaroid fell from the folded paper, drifting to the ground before either Ashton or Michael could catch it.

Ashton bent to retrieve it, the Polaroid face down, the back just a normal white side. When he turned it over with nimble fingers, the breath flew from his body, his heart aching and throbbing at the sight before his eyes. He straightened out, a look of pure pain painted on his face as he turned to Michael, the note in his other hand momentarily forgotten. His lip quivered as he tried for words, his head vehemently shaking back and forth in denial. This couldn’t be his Luke in the picture. It just couldn’t be.

Pictured was a set of familiar blue eyes, only they weren’t the lively and sparkling eyes Ashton had fallen in love with. They were dull, lifeless, tormented. As simple as the photograph was, it was definitely a message to Ashton. He could barely stomach looking at it much longer, he shoved it away from himself, into Michael’s hands as he despairingly looked to the letter in his clutches. More messy scrawl had Ashton’s stomach twisting.

_I’ll send him back for two in his place or I kill him and this all ends now._

In a fit of rage Ashton crumpled up the paper, the threat smudging on the inside as he tossed it away from him. Michael was trying to reach Ashton with calming words, but all that Ashton could see was red, all that he could hear was taunts, all that had invaded his life was misery. He was helplessly lost without his Luke. He didn’t know where to turn anymore.

“Ash, Ash, calm down. He’s only doing this because he’s feeling threatened. He knows we’re on to him.”

“How can you be so sure?” Ashton croaked, tears coating the words as they fell from his mouth.

“Because he’s trying to make a deal with you so he doesn’t get caught. He’s feeling pressured. We must be hot on his trail.”

Ashton looked around the station, all the other patrons out on duty or in the conference room, Ashton looked back, “You think so?”

“I know so,” Michael assured, running a calming hand up and down Ashton’s back.

Ashton nodded as he took a moment to calm his breathing, his heart while still aching had gone back to beating somewhat of a normal rhythm. He needed to believe Michael, and call it grasping at straws, but maybe if he believed Michael, he could believe in himself as well.

They pinned the note and picture up to the evidence board, Ashton finally allowing himself to look at the mugshot of the man who was wreaking havoc on his life. He opened the folder, half expecting to see the devil incarnate, red burning skin, black eyes, horns and pitchfork, but what he saw was much worse. He looked rather human, except for his eyes which lacked any sort of perception. They were seemingly empty, void of the things that make up humanity. There was no love, no memories, no laughs, no shine held behind the sheen of gray. They were there, human in shape, less human in color, but there all the same, just startlingly _wrong._

He closed the file quickly, slamming it down on the desk beside him, his emotions running rampant as he was bombarded with the images of Luke. He leaned back into the desk, clutching at his chest for a moment, reminding himself to breathe. A few of his co-workers expressed their concern for him, but he waved them off. He was fine for now. He had to remind himself that they were already scouting the area, search parties assembled to look for Luke, and he’d be the first to know if they did. That tiny shred of information was what got him through the rest of the day without collapsing into a heaving mess of emotion.

It took another round of convincing for Ashton to leave, this time Michael pulling out all the stops, getting Calum on the phone, Ashley having to drive over and help Michael nearly forcibly get Ashton out the door. He left his car at the station, sat in the passenger side of Ashley’s, they wanted to be sure he made it all the way home. His left hand fingers tapped along his knee, his right hand fingers being bitten at nervously. It was a horrible habit he knew, Luke had always been trying to break him from it, always telling him to bite him instead with a flirty little wink. Ashton was always embarrassed by it at first and then it got him going, his boyfriend’s appeal undeniable.

Ashton’s apartment complex came into view, the driveway only a couple hundred feet away, but Ashley didn’t slow down, if anything, she accelerated. Ashton stayed silent for a moment, wondering if she would notice she’d missed the turn, but she didn’t even acknowledge it.

“You missed the turn,” Ashton informed.

“I’m aware,” Ashley replied, her lips pursed, squinting her eyes to read the approaching road signs.

“Then where are we going?”

“Somewhere good for you,” she replied vaguely.

The more they drove, the more familiar the streets were becoming. Panic set into Ashton as he realized where they were headed; Luke’s old place. Ashley pulled up to the curb and parked the car, twisting in her seat to face Ashton. She placed a comforting hand on his knee, trying to hold eye contact with him, but he was searching all around, no answer as to why this would ever be good for him in sight.

“Ashley-“ Ashton began, warning bells in his tone.

“Just listen before you get pissed off okay?” Ashley started, pushing her fallen blue hair out of her eyes tiredly.

Ashton hadn’t noticed how tired his friends had become lately, he didn’t realize the tolls it had taken on them. Sure, Luke was the love of his life, the center of his world, but that didn’t negate the fact that his friends loved him platonically and were a part of that world. He felt selfish and stupid for a moment, but those feelings were quelled when Ashley took his hand in hers, an encouraging look on her face as she explained what the purpose of being here was.

“I didn’t do this to torture you, you’ve been doing that to yourself enough lately. You and Luke shared some of your best times here, I just thought maybe, instead of tormenting yourself with all the bad, you could take a moment to remember the good.”

Ashton took in a long breath of air through his nose, forcing it out through his mouth as he started to see the sense in the words. He looked at the old house Luke had lived in with his brothers after his parents had passed away. Just last year Ben had put it on the market, but nobody had bought it yet, so it stood totally vacated and empty. Ashton worried at his lower lip for a moment, trying to recall good memories through the slew of bad that had been happening.

“Can we go inside?” Ashton asked. He wasn’t sure why he was asking, he knew full well he could do what he wanted, he knew where the key was, but he also knew he wouldn’t go in alone.

“Of course,” Ashley responded a bit surprised by the request.

They opened their doors, stepping out onto the pavement below, slowly making their way onto the gravel driveway. Ashton remembered their first kiss that had been so passionately shared in the doorway as he approached. He felt for the key on the top of the door frame, a little notch in the wood giving way to reveal a hidden pocket, the key inside. He pulled it out and unlocked the door, stepping inside to the empty yet familiar living room.

“I’m gonna go upstairs,” Ashton said, placing a foot on the bottom step.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Ashley asked unsurely.

Through a breath Ashton responded, “No, I’ve got it from here.”

“I’ll be right here if you need me,” Ashley’s voice called out as he ascended the stairs.

He made a quick turn into the hallway, Luke’s old door the same as ever. They hadn’t been able to peel all of the stickers off the door from Luke’s rebellious teenage phase, Ashton recalling the strenuous amount of effort they’d put into it when the house had gone on the market. He pushed the door open, the familiar layout invading his eyes.

There was a stain on the carpet in the corner, blue bleeding into the otherwise white flooring. He walked over to the spot, his shoe running along the stain as he recalled the culprit; a Popsicle. Ashton had made Luke laugh, his boy clutching at his stomach as he did so, the top of the frozen treat breaking off in his grasp, melting into the ground below them before either had a chance to notice.

The first two and a half years of their relationship had happened here, a lot of milestones covered during that time. They’d knocked a couple out in one night. Ashton immersed himself in the memory as he reminisced. It was in the exact spot he was standing that they’d shared their first exchanging of the three magical words, ‘I love you’. A year and a half into their relationship Luke had been sitting on his bed, knees curled up, his chin resting on them and arms wrapped securely around his legs. On his face was a half grin, his eyes watching Ashton pace the room.

They’d been taking things slowly, apt to really get to know each other, wanting to delve as deep into each other as they could. Ashton may have had some reservations about relationships, what with his father leaving and all, and that may have come into play when dating Luke, he knew he was hard of trust. As he paced the floor, biting at his nails, he looked over at the amazing guy he’d been seeing for the past eighteen months. He stopped short, just so his toes were brushing the stain on the floor.

“Ash, you really shouldn’t bite your nails,” Luke reminded.

Ashton pulled his fingers away, nodding his head. Yeah, he knew that. But he was nervous, with good reason to be, there was something he needed to say, and he feared if he didn’t say it now, he wouldn’t be able to say it ever. He took a deep breath, gathering up all of his courage, knowing he would feel three thousand and eleven times better once the words were out. He was almost positive Luke was going to reciprocate but until he heard the words said back to him, a tiny sliver of doubt was driving him insane.

“Luke, I have to tell you something,” Ashton started, formality to his words.

He wasn’t sure how to go about this, he’d never done it before, never said these words in anything other than a most platonic way. He took a deep breath.

“You can tell me anything, Ash, you know that right?”

“Of course, Luke, it’s just- well- I’m, I’m in-“

Luke sensed the struggle, stood to meet Ashton, their bodies not letting air slip between them. Luke traced Ashton’s face with the pads of his fingers, so gently it felt like a whisper. Ashton saw the smile turn up the corners of Luke’s mouth, the gleam in his eyes as he spoke the words Ashton couldn’t manage to get out.

“I love you, Ash.”

Ashton breathed a sigh of relief, planted his lips on Luke’s, the kiss tasting like pure elation and love, “I love you, Luke.”

Luke pulled him down on the bed with him, Ashton straddling Luke’s waist, their foreheads pressed together, Luke’s tiny hands on the sides of Ashton’s face. Luke rubbed their noses together, his lips brushing against Ashton’s cheek as he pulled away. Ashton wrapped his arms around Luke’s neck, scooting up into his touch.

“I love you from here,” Luke whispered, placing a tiny kiss on Ashton’s forehead. “To here,” he said again as he kissed the tip of his nose. “To here,” he repeated planting his lips on Ashton’s. Slowly and intimately he made his way down Ashton’s face, taking the time to place kisses all over after repeating his new mantra. As he got down to where his neck met his shoulders, he ravished a love mark into the supple skin.

They fell back on the bed, Ashton hovering over Luke until Luke pulled him down reconnecting his lips to any part of Ashton he could find. Somehow they managed to slip Ashton’s shirt off, barely breaking contact with each other. Ashton wouldn’t deny that he loved taking care of Luke, he adored the younger boy in every way possible, it made him feel amazing to take care of him, to hold him and dull the worries of the world. But in that moment, with Luke taking such care to ravish him, to make him feel so loved, Ashton could swear his love was intensifying with every kiss placed on his body.

They’d tugged off Luke’s shirt next, the clothing only in the way. When Luke’s lips hit Ashton’s sweet spot, he couldn’t help the moan that escaped him, the sound encouraging Luke, his mouth working wonders. Luke eventually pulled away, adamant on getting his mouth against Ashton’s, muffling the chorus of moans between them.

He pulled away fractionally, mumbling against Ashton’s mouth, “Before we get any farther, are you sure this is what you want?”

“Without a doubt,” Ashton replied instantly, getting closer than before.

Luke’s hands tangled into Ashton’s curls, tugging ever so gently, eliciting a groan, Luke able to feel the hardening outline in Ashton’s pants against his leg. Luke knew he was worse for wear, he wasn’t able to keep control anymore. Ashton grinded down, knowing Luke desired the friction, because he himself needed it.

The next obstacle in their way was their jeans, they struggled out of them, somewhere along the way their legs tangling together into almost one entity. Eventually they were rid of them, taking their time in exploring each other’s bodies so freely and openly. They had a lot to figure out as they explored, coming across all the right places to touch, finding all the things that drove them over the edge. They’d had their little tirade well into the night, connecting so physically and emotionally only making their bond stronger.

Once Ashton was pulled out of the memory from Ashley’s voice downstairs, he left the room, closing the door with a watery smile. Those were the times he needed to hold onto. Those were the moments that would keep him sane in this shower of crazy. Ashley drove him home, going so far as to tuck him in against his protests. That night he slept easily, only happy dreams running through his unconscious state. Ashley was completely right, that was absolutely what he needed.

*

Ashton woke with a heavy heart that morning, a new glowing determination to find Luke settling around him, he oddly had a good feeling. Of course the empty apartment was eerie to him, he’d bustled about trying to go as fast as possible to get out, missing the presence of Luke terribly. He made it to the station, the night shift cops pouring out, throwing him weird looks on their way. Ashton knew he wasn’t the only one assigned to the case, they had a collective team working on it at all hours, but with the way they were staring at him, his stomach twisted with dread.

“Hey Michael, what’s going?” Ashton asked as Michael was about to pass him, his own weird expression planted on his face.

“We think we’ve found his location,” Michael explained.

Ashton’s eyes widened, his heart thumping in anticipation, “Where?”

“Just outside of town.”

Ashton was off, gearing up to catch the son of a bitch, tucking his gun in his holster, his bullet proof vest secured around his chest. He and Michael shared a cruiser, the lights and sirens alive as they flew down the road, the rest of the team following close behind. Michael was at the wheel, communicating with the others constantly, the address routed through the GPS. A sharp turn had Ashton clutching the Jesus handle on the roof of the car, his grip insanely tight as they aligned back up on the road.

Michael had the car tail spinning into a gravel driveway, stopping suddenly, both of them out and on their feet in instants. Ashton kicked the door down, not wasting anytime. He and Michael covered the front of the house, the others taking the back. He heard someone yell out ‘clear’, he and Michael proceeding in their search. All around Ashton was a complete disaster, the house in turmoil; mold build up, newspapers from the seventies stacked as high as the cracked ceiling.

“We’ve got him,” a voice called out, Ashton rushing to the source, hoping to see Luke, but instead coming face to face with the instigator of the situation, his lifeless eyes staring back at him, a victorious smirk on his ugly face.

“Where’s Luke?” Ashton hollered, unable to put a cap on his anger. Michael was holding him back, physically restraining him with his arms held around his chest as the man was cuffed and read his rights.

It took everything in Ashton to not take out his gun and kill the man right then and there, the only thing stopping him was the fact that Luke was still nowhere to be seen. The man’s smirk grew as he was ushered out the door, more hollers of clear shaking through the small house. It was becoming evident Luke would not be found within the confines of these walls. Ashton followed them outside, his footsteps heavy as they crunched the rocks below him.

What seemed like a long ride ensued back to the station, the monster riding in the back of another cruiser, Ashton not sure he’d be able to handle having him in such close proximity. Michael was reassuring the whole way back that they’d find Luke, the battle was almost over, but Ashton wasn’t so sure of that. He knew how these things usually ended, you never walk out the same person you walked in as.

He knew the Luke he found- wherever he might be- wouldn’t be the one who had so excitedly taken Ashton down in a shower of kisses to the floor of their first apartment. They didn’t have any furniture for the first few weeks, just a lot of boxes claiming the corners of the apartment, an air mattress in the bedroom to tide them over until they could haul a real mattress in. Luke had beamed when they unlocked the door for the first time, a magical spring in his step as he walked in, a look of wonder on his face. Ashton couldn’t be any happier to be living with his best friend in the entire world, to wake up every morning to the face of the love of his life; just a touch of drool running down his chin from sleep.

Luke spun around in the empty space, throwing his arms out wide, elation shining the blue of his eyes, “This is all ours!”

Ashton was unable to contain the smile that broke out across his face, not that he much wanted to. The way Luke was so excited over something so simple, so small, had Ashton falling in love all over again. Ashton strode forward into Luke’s chest, Luke’s outstretched arms immediately wrapping around Ashton’s frame. Luke nuzzled his nose into Ashton’s curls, Ashton receiving Luke’s message without words spoken.

Ashton pulled back slightly, “I guess we should start unpacking, huh?”

“Or… you could see what I’m packing,” Luke suggested with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Ashton blushed furiously, Luke’s joke heating his cheeks as he shook his head in disapproval.

“Let’s just go get the boxes,” Ashton laughed starting to turn but Luke pulled him back, attacking his neck with kisses, his hands clutching at the front of Ashton’s shirt.

“The boxes can wait,” Luke said.

Ashton didn’t need any more convincing on that front. He giggled as Luke’s stubble tickled him, twisting so he could face Luke. Soon enough they’d fallen to the floor, Luke on top of Ashton adamantly showering him with kisses, Ashton reveling in the feeling.

“I want to make you feel good,” Luke whispered huskily, his roaming hands dipping into the waistline of Ashton’s pants.

Ashton nodded eagerly, pulling Luke’s mouth back down to his to mask the whimpers he was letting out from the wonders that Luke’s hands were providing. The boxes were forgotten in the car for the night, Ashton having a feeling their new neighbors probably weren’t going to like them so much come morning.

By the time they got to the station, Ashton’s heart was aching once more, it being heavy in his chest as he walked in the doors, the interrogation room already set up for their entry. Ashton wasn’t permitted entrance into the room, his mind not objective or collected enough for the task. So he waited outside the one way mirror, watching everything, listening through the wired speakers. The monster’s voice was just as he would’ve suspected, guttural and deep, snarly and evil, filled with a venom more poisonous than what was known to man.

“You’ll never find him in time,” the gnarly voice carried through.

Ashton watched Michael lean back in his chair, his face stoic as he played bad cop, though at this point Ashton wasn’t convinced he was playing at all. Ever since his revelation with Ashley the other night he’d realized just how much Luke meant to the others. Luke and Michael had developed a quick friendship through Calum, somehow the two sets of friendship had never intermingled before. Calum had been Luke’s oldest friend, Ashley had joined their circle of friends when Calum and Michael moved in together, evidently needing another roommate to help swing the rent when they were first starting out, and even once they were all well on their feet, they just never thought to move out.

“Why’s that?” Michael inquired, his voice cool, the two words sending a shiver down Ashton’s own spine.

“You’re going to run out of time,” he rebuked, the explanation not of any use, just a repeat of what he’d said before.

“Why?” Michael demanded slamming his hand onto the table, his body lifting out of the chair, the wooden seat falling to the floor with a clamor. “Where is he?”

Ashton spun Luke’s ring around his pinky, the cool metal a reminder of their love, of the life that had been taken away. Something was building in his chest, his breathing coming faster, his eyes threatening to burn and yet he couldn’t look away. He couldn’t tune out the words, they were like daggers to his heart, but he had to listen on, he might be able to pick up hints as to where his boy was.

“I want a lawyer,” he finally said, perhaps becoming nervous with Michael’s demeanor so up close and personal.

Michael’s nostrils flared as he pulled away, shaking his head in disgust. He exited the room and walked over to Ashton, anger flaring in his eyes, “This dick.”

Ashton almost laughed at that, the way the words were said could’ve been taken out of context, but he understood the meaning when Michael stood watching the dick through the window, fuming, his head still shaking, pursing his lips.

“He can’t just take him away from me,” Ashton said brokenly, the more he stared at him, the worse he felt.

“There’s no way we’re not finding Luke,” Michael assured determinedly, getting his second wind, barging back in through the door.

Ashton watched and listened, slipping the ring off his pinky, rolling it between his index finger and thumb. He recalled the day he’d bought the simple band, set off early in the morning when Luke was still asleep, Ashton had wiped the drool off Luke’s chin before vacating the bed and readying himself for the hunt. He’d brought Calum along with him, needing a second opinion. He knew it should be simple, Luke never one for finesse, he’d be happy enough to tie a string around his finger forever so long as Ashton had given it to him.

“It just needs to be simple, yet meaningful,” Ashton gave Calum the parameters.

Calum nodded his head in thought, scratching at his chin as he mused. They’d entered three jewelry shops before finding the one that screamed Luke. It was simple metal, shiny, not too thick. He figured that if Luke said yes, that when they actually got married they would want matching rings, something they could pick out together, something they’d both be happy with forever. This was merely a question, and if slid onto Luke’s finger, a statement of love.

When Ashton had brought the ring up to the counter and given the option for an engraving, he nodded his consent, given the small card to fill out. He looked to Calum for help, but Calum had his arms held up as if in surrender, telling Ashton it was all on him. Ashton thought deeply, he couldn’t very well put the date of their first date on there, they still hadn’t cleared that up quite yet, he supposed the day they met might work, but that didn’t feel right to him either.

Cheesy quotes filled his mind but he recoiled them, those definitely weren’t right. He thought about the love they shared, about the times they’d spent together, the life they now shared. His pen tapped along the small card, Ashton biting at his lower lip as he tried to sum up his love for Luke in the space provided.

“I think I’ve got it,” Ashton announced, a stroke of brilliance hitting him hard.

“About time,” Calum grumbled from his position beside him, leaning against the display case casually, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets.

Ashton wrote out the engraving message, happy with what he’d come up with. He handed the card back to the worker who smiled and congratulated him once more before they left. Once they hit the streets Calum cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“What did you write?” He asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ashton replied with a shrug.

Calum rolled his eyes as they took off, knowing Ashton wasn’t about to tell him. Luke would be the first to know what it said.

In the police station Ashton ran his index finger over the rough engraving of ‘A & L’, the other always being enough. When they were together, they didn’t need anything else.

Ashton had taken the call from the jeweler in private, their voice telling him the ring was ready to pick up. Luke had been laid out on the couch when Ashton returned from their bedroom, Luke pouting because he wanted cuddles. Ashton promised he’d be right back, negating that he’d be back with a ring, and swore when he returned he’d snuggle Luke. Luke had sighed loudly but let Ashton go without too much more of a fuss.  Ashton had pounded the pavement in his excitement to pick up the ring, he didn’t have a plan, he didn’t know exactly how he was going to pop the question, but he knew he couldn’t wait much longer.

He stopped by for takeout, needing an inconspicuous reason as to why he had fled the apartment, he ordered Luke’s favorite, the bag tucked under his arm as he returned to the apartment, the box holding the ring in his jeans pocket. He just hoped Luke wouldn’t be observant enough to notice the bulge in his pants. Ashton could hear Luke’s voice in his mind asking ‘is there something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?’ already.

Luke had pulled himself off the couch when Ashton entered and set the take out on the table, beginning to unpack the food. Luke didn’t seem too excited at the prospect of the food, he walked up behind Ashton, wrapping his arms around his middle, nuzzling his nose into Ashton’s neck, clinging onto him as if his life depended on it. Ashton couldn’t deny that Luke was downright adorable when he had tiffs of being clingy.

“I missed you,” Luke whined, his breath hitting Ashton’s neck sweetly.

“I wasn’t gone that long,” Ashton replied, trying to stay nonchalant, one hand running over one of Luke’s arms that was wrapped around him, the other still struggling to stay focused in laying out the food.

Luke’s hands roamed lower, Ashton’s heart thumping as he realized where his hands were headed. Luke’s fingers trailed down Ashton’s stomach, to his hips, and eventually to where the ring box was protruding. Luke eagerly reached into Ashton’s pocket, still nuzzling his nose into Ashton’s neck as he pulled the ring box out, managing to open it with one hand, his arm pulled out in front of him.

“Marry me?” Ashton managed to squeak out before Luke could totally ruin the surprise.

Luke nodded into Ashton’s neck, whispering, “Of course.”

Ashton spun in Luke’s arms, coming face to face with him, his eyes squinted as he contemplated how Luke could have possibly known to reach into his pocket.

“You knew,” Ashton accused.

Luke brought the box to himself, pulling the ring out and slipping it on his finger as he smiled and replied, “You left the receipt on the dresser.”

Ashton looked down at the ring in his hand, finding it foreign not on Luke’s finger. He looked back at the window, Michael trying his best to break the monster so they could get Luke’s whereabouts. It was coming down to the grind, Ashton more nervous than ever before. To Ashton it seemed as if he was never going to break. They had Michael cracking down on him, others were looking into his past, trying to recover somewhere significant that might be suited to holding somebody. The force was pouring over the maps once more, trying to put things together.

“I want to go in there,” Ashton mumbled, he wasn’t sure if he was asking permission from the captain or if he was just stating a fact.

“That’s probably not best,” the captain replied.

“I _need_ to go in there,” Ashton said, the urgency in his tone not able to be masked.

The captain sighed and relented, “Alright, but just know, I will pull you out of there so fast if anything goes awry, I can’t have you compromising this.”

Ashton nodded and marched his way in, trying to keep his demeanor calm, he couldn’t let him know how shaken he was. He had to have the upper hand. He’d read through the file, he knew this monster inside and out, he just couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t locate Luke. Michael was surprised that Ashton had entered but he stepped back and let him take the reins, just being a threatening presence in the room.

The hand cuffs linked around the monsters wrist scratched against the table as he shifted, his hands being pulled towards his chest. He tilted his head, recognition flickering through his dead eyes. He must have seen the press conference, Ashton assumed. Through the recognition came a shiver of fear, he had watched Ashton plead for Luke’s life. Ashton could tell that was giving him an ego boost. He thrived off the feeling of desperation.

“Where is he?” Ashton asked, his hand clutching around the edge of the table.

“He’s mine now,” came the guttural reply.

Ashton almost lost his cool, his mind screaming that Luke would never be his. Luke was his own person, beautiful and shining, laughing and loving, living and breathing. Luke would always just be Luke. Nobody had a claim on him.

Ashton managed to twist his words, sparring with the monster until he slipped up, the location being thrown on the table between them.

Ashton didn’t even hesitate to march out the door, Michael hot on his heels, Ashton taking the wheel of the cruiser this time, Michael putting the address into the GPS. They sped along through the torrential downpour, the lights on and siren blaring. They were headed to the outskirts of town, a dilapidated warehouse sitting in the tall grass, burns marring the wood. Ashton could slightly recall the day the warehouse had gone up in flames, the whole town gathering around, nosy as ever.

“We won,” Michael said in disbelief.

“Not yet,” Ashton replied.

He wouldn’t call this a victory until Luke was in his arms, alive. They pulled up as close to the warehouse as they could, Ashton putting the car in park as Michael hopped out. Ashton followed closely behind him, tendrils of anxiety wrapping around him as he entered the warehouse, its eerie silence threatening to suffocate him. Light and rain spilled in from the broken down pieces of lumber, holes in the roofing, in the siding, glass charred on the floor from combustion of the windows. Ashton carefully stepped around it, calling out for Luke.

A meek reply of Ashton’s name came from somewhere in the distance, squeezing Ashton’s heart, the thread it was hanging from strengthening from the weak word. He neared the sound, Luke’s feet coming into view first. They were bare, filthy, and fragile for their size, ropes binding them in place. Ashton fell to the ground at the sight, crawling forward, unable to dwindle down the swelling emotions. Luke’s body was laid out on the ground, grime covering his clothes. His hands were tied off to a post, his face covered in dust mixed with tears.

Ashton quickly untied all the ropes, collected Luke in his arms, rocking him back and forth as he called out for medical attention to Michael. Michael was already calling it in, standing in a shadowed corridor. Luke’s frail body was tucked neatly into Ashton, Ashton running his fingers through his matted hair, pressing delicate kisses into his dirty skin. Luke was silent, but that didn’t stop him from very weakly nudging his nose into Ashton, the action speaking all the words Ashton needed to hear as a stretcher was rolled in.

*

“Marry me,” Luke said, his voice about ten times stronger than when Ashton had initially found him.

They were tangled up in Luke’s hospital bed, two days after the fact, Luke connected to so many tubes and wires, his health already on the mend. Physically Ashton was assured that Luke would make a speedy recovery, mentally and emotionally they were both prepared for it taking a while. Ashton had managed to squeeze into the bed with Luke without disturbing any of the IV’s solely because Luke had begged him to. Ashton was perfectly fine with sleeping in the chair opposite him, but Luke was having none of that. After four days without touch, Luke was desperate for the familiarity.

“We’re already engaged sweetheart,” Ashton reminded, his finger trailing over Luke’s ring finger, the metal band already back in place. It was a loose fit, Luke had lost weight during his abduction, but he had asked for it the moment he regained consciousness after being put under.

“I know, just- just- marry me right now,” Luke insisted, clutching at Ashton’s t-shirt.

They were laid on their sides, face to face, Luke’s hand twisted into the soft fabric of Ashton’s shirt, the distress in his eyes making Ashton’s own pool with tears.

“Luke, you deserve the best wedding in the world, not here in some hospital room,” Ashton said.

“If I’m marrying you there’s no way it won’t be the best,” Luke replied, honesty seeping from him.

“We don’t even have rings, or vows, or a minister,” Ashton explained, not sure how Luke actually wanted to get married.

Luke looked around for a moment, his eyes frantically searching the room for resources. He pulled the wheeled tray closer to him, picking up an abandoned straw wrapper, he tore the paper in half, taking time to loop and knot both halves.

“There’s one problem solved,” Luke said, Ashton realizing Luke was perfectly happy with putting a wrapper around his finger in lieu of a ring. “Call Michael, he drunkenly ordained himself as a minister one night. Call Ashley and Calum, they can be the witnesses. We don’t need to write vows to know what to say about our love.”

“How could I ever refuse? Especially with such a beautiful ring,” Ashton teased, taking the wrapper from Luke and setting it aside.

Ashton did call Michael, his friend already on his way to the hospital with the others to visit Luke. They’d barged into the room not but five minutes later, Michael spewing some shit about how much he loved weddings. Ashton laughed and told him to lower his voice, this was a hospital not a wrestling match.

They got situated, Ashton sat in the chair next to Luke’s bed, their fingers intertwined, their gazes never breaking. Michael wasted no time as the minister, jumping directly to the question as Calum and Ashley stood close together, watching their friends on what would be the happiest day of their lives.

“Do you, Ashton, take this man, to be your wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Luke, take this man to be your wedded husband?”

“I do.”

They exchanged their vows then, Ashton watching the way Luke’s eyes soaked up all his words, how his smile never wavered, how even in the harshest hospital lights, he glowed.

“I vow to wipe the drool off your chin every morning for as long as you’ll let me. I vow to love you unconditionally, with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my being. I vow to protect you, to hold you, to care for you no matter the circumstances. I vow to love you every day, never letting a day go by where I don’t let you know that. I promise to hold your hand whenever your nervous, to never refuse a snuggle. I promise that you are and always will be, my heart and soul.”

Ashton slid the makeshift ring onto Luke’s finger, it sat on his ring finger, just above the engagement ring.

“Ashton,” Luke started, his small hand squeezing Ashton’s larger one just a bit tighter. “I vow to always pretend I’m still asleep when you wipe my chin. I will always tell you I love you before we part and the moment we’re back together. I promise to trust you above and beyond anything or anyone else. I vow to ravish you and show you how much you mean to me anytime I get the chance. I promise to love you, as you are, _my_ heart and soul.”

Ashton couldn’t help the buildup of tears that had worked into him as Luke spoke his vows. He knew this wedding wasn’t traditional or spectacular, but looking into Luke’s eyes, seeing his boy so incredibly happy with just a wrapper around his finger as a symbol of love brought new hope to Ashton. He knew that every morning he woke up next to Luke would bring him only happiness. Luke slid the other makeshift ring on Ashton’s finger, the wrapper crinkling as he did so.

“By the power vested in me from an online website, I now pronounce you, husband and husband. You may kiss the groom.”

And they did. Promises and the future held between their lips, their hearts in each other’s hands that were still intertwined. Each other’s lights held in their eyes, closed and fluttering as they kept their pace. The world around them, the sounds of machinery, their friends, the white hospital walls all drifted away, as they promised themselves to each other.

*

Ashton woke, his body slick with a cold sweat as he turned over, finding the bed empty next to him, panic driving through him. He stumbled out of the bed, making his way into the kitchen where light guided him. At the counter stood Luke, his sweatpants slung low on his hips, his chest bare and slick with his own sweat.

“Another nightmare?” Ashton asked stalking forward, able to see that Luke was just as shaken as he.

“I had to walk it off, I didn’t think you’d wake up,” Luke admitted, running a tired hand through his hair.

When Luke was released from the hospital, they’d moved apartments, the fear that had settled around their previous one keeping Luke away from it. So they’d moved, not far enough away for either of them to have to change jobs, Luke had found a therapist to help him cope with the trauma. Ashton had indeed held Luke’s hand when they entered the office, his boy timid and nervous to opening up to a stranger at first. Over the past couple of years, things had gotten better, Luke was starting to feel safer, the monster put away behind bars far, far away from them forever. Things wouldn’t necessarily be ‘normal’ ever again, but that didn’t mean they weren’t good.

“It’s okay,” Ashton said calmly, pulling Luke into him, wrapping his arms around him. “You’re okay.”

Luke shrunk down, melting into Ashton, his nose running along his neck as he took in every part of him. He brushed noses with Ashton and whispered, “I know. I’ve got you.”

Ashton whispered back, “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really, really wanna hear your thoughts on this. It's a pretty big step away from anything I've written before and I'd love feedback!  
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr!!!](lashtonsillusion.tumblr.com)


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